I’ve been told that I have an old soul. I’ve been told that I grew up too quickly. I’ve been described as ‘mature for my age’. I’ve been called young and told I have a lot to learn. Well…
I know that life is hard. I’ve learned that it is hard, living on your own. I’ve been doing it for over a year now – living with Kevin. On 10-05-10 I made a big decision and a big change. I am proud of how well we’ve done so far living off Kevin’s paycheck, the two of us and 2 pets – one with health problems! All while still managing trips to Nova Scotia, birthday dinners, holidays and movie nights out. Sometimes it’s hard – Lord knows I’m not a perfect accountant and budget extraordinaire – but we are getting by. I’ve taken to living on my own like a real adult, even if I still have a lot to learn. I know that the cost of living is on a steady uphill climb. I used to be able to throw twenty bucks in the ‘ole Malibu and make it through another week. A cucumber used to be, like, a dollar. I know that I have made it through half of my university degree with no loans, no debt. I know I haven’t saved as much as I should have this summer and paying for school this year might be tough. I’m doing pretty good, even if I have a lot to learn.
I know that my parents are the hardest working two people I know. My Dad works 10 hour days and then comes home and builds and fixes and upkeeps for the rest of the evening and all weekend. He goes to bed late and gets up early to provide the kind of life he imagined for his family. My Mom stayed home with me until I was 13. She was there being the stability in my life when we lived hours from our closest family member – sometimes even including my Dad! Now, I go to school full time and work besides, and work full time in the summer. I learn from them and I work hard too.
And love. Oh do I ever know a lot about love. I know what it’s like to grow up with parents who love each other. To see love get various family members of mine through hard times. Impossible times. I’ve seen the tender touches, the loving gazes, the warm embraces. And then I fell in love, and I discovered that the world I thought I knew so well was really completely different. I know what it is to love someone with my whole heart and soul. In the heart of our worst argument I could still look at Kevin and know without a doubt that this thing – whatever we’re fighting over – could never break us. I believe with my whole heart that there is nothing in Heaven nor on Earth that could ruin our love. Even if something ever came between us I would never stop loving him.
The same goes for my family. I do not consider the bond between family members to be ‘in love’ – but something much more. It is like friendship and love and a solid rock all rolled in to one. I know that family is there for each other, feels one another’s pain, and shares in joys and triumphs. Family is honest. I know that most families are not like mine. I have grown up knowing that my family was different – because the other kids on the playground took their grandparents for granted, and because no one else I ever knew drove 20 hours just to visit. I know my family is special and I love every single person in it.
& I still have a lot to learn.