I am…

“This above all: to thine own self be true.” -William Shakespeare

I am Barbara Laura Leeanne. My name is made up entirely of the names of various family members. Family is literally in my own name. It is ingrained in my morals, beliefs, values, and down to my very soul.

I am a Nursing student. I go to the University of New Brunswick. I study hard but I do my best to keep a balance between school and the other important things in my life. I am considering taking Doula training before I finish school, so I don’t lose my L&D skills.

I am a best friend. I have been friend and acquaintance to many people throughout my lifetime, but there are four people who stand out when I think of my best friends. Hayley, Tammy, Sasha, and Kelsey. They are also my four bridesmaids in my wedding. I love them and I try to be there for them always, and when I need to I can lean on them too.

I am a writer. Not a professional writer. I don’t do newspaper columns or get published in magazines. I have sort of started novel-planning but haven’t gotten far. But I know deep down inside me there is a writer, because I love to do it. I might not have schooled writing styles or grammatically correct paragraphs. I’m not a fan of haikus and what is ‘prose’? No, I am nothing special but I am a writer.

I am opinionated. When I have an opinion about something, it’s a strong one. I feel I was raised by a father who is stern and solid, and who taught me strength. I was also raised by a woman who is sensitive but set in her ways and opinions. I was raised to stand by what I believe in. I cry at the drop of the hat, when something important is at stake, or when I feel bursting joy. I can yell on a whim, which may be dramatic but if I am passionate about something I make myself heard.

I am honest. I don’t lie. It’s just so so wrong to betray someone’s trust. My Dad always said “You can trust a thief because you know he’s going to steal, you can’t trust a liar because you don’t know what they’re going to do!” and he’s right.

I am tough. I do my best to deal with things as they happen. Umbilical cord choking me before I was born? No problem – I made out fine! Military family living too far from my family while growing up – that’s okay too. Losing all of my grandparents by age 7? Well I have a tattoo now to remind me everyday that they aren’t lost if they’re still always here with me. Swearing I’d withstand the peer pressure and never ever smoke – done! And now, in the face of Kevin’s upcoming tour in Afghanistan, I know that with a little help from my family and friends I’ll tough that out too.

I am in love. Through any and all hard times and bumpy roads I look at Kevin and I know that nothing else matters in the world more than knowing we have each other. I could lose everything and he’d help me get through it.

I am proud. I am proud of myself. In a world where people can wander many roads, I have chosen one with enough potholes and rough patches to make me grateful for the sections of smooth pavement. I have maintained steady partime jobs since I turned 16, through highschool and university. I have been volunteering with children since 2007. I want to work with women and babies and help them be as healthy and happy as they can be. I am proud of the path I’ve chosen, and I’ll look back with no regrets when I get to the end of my journey.

There have been times in my life when I may have doubted who I am. There have been times when I’ve doubted if I’ve done the right thing. I strive to do everything with the best of intentions and have learned that as long as I stay true to who I am then I will be okay. In my life thus far, the good I’ve done has far outweighed the bad. The love and friendship I’ve shared far outweighs my negative relationships. My dreams are always bigger than my nightmares.

I amme.

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